Are ya kidding me?
Apparently British people can party until 3 and get up for work several hours later. Goodie.
Last night was especially interesting. First, we went to an Irish pub that had three floors, a live cover band that played pop music (AWESOME) and bartenders that have never heard of a malibu bay breeze.
At around 1 a.m., some other students and I were ready to go. We collected everyone from our group and headed out to the street. Then Dave, our head R.A. said, "Okay! Where to now?" and we were like... "home? please?" This was not good enough for Dave. 1 a.m. is when the party starts... apparently. "No! Let's go to heaven!" he exclaimed (I've nearly been to the actual heaven seeing how I keep forgetting to look RIGHT and not LEFT when crossing the street - London drivers will not stop for you. Maybe I should walk with a dog. Is that crass? Whatever.)
ANYway, Dave really wanted to go to Heaven. We protested at first "DAVE don't do this to us we have lecture at EIGHT FORTY-FIVE IN THE GODFORSAKEN MORNING"
"So?", he said. This went back and forth like this for a bit and twenty minutes later we're at a gay bar with the word HEAVEN in big letters over the doorway. Great.
By the time we got there I'm thinking "Okay, we're here, we might as well have a good time and not stress about getting up at the ass-crack of dawn. After a frisking we were let in for 3 pounds. Not bad. We walk into a huge place with a platform in the middle of the room and a lit up stage. Hundreds of London queers (that IS p.c. btw) were crowded in front of the stage so we couldn't see what all the fuss was about. Dave led me and four other friends of ours to the platform so we could get a better look. After, our six and a half-foot tall RA hoisted us up to the higher platform I saw a dozen men in tight underpants all in a row.
"Dave... what's goin on?" Too my horror, Dave said more or less exactly what I was afraid he was going to say.
"Oh is Porn Idol night," he replied in his quaint british accent as if we were having tea in the park.
"Ah."
Friggen Dave. I KNEW there was a reason he was so adamant about going. Before we knew it, some guy with a bad attitude eliminated all but two to a sudden death round. With one swish of his hand the music queued and in less than two minutes there were two naked men dancing around a giant pole. At this point my jaw dropped and I'm pondering whether or not I'm actually experiencing this. My other friends were more or less just as shocked. "Welcome to England, Sam!" Dave said.
Here's a little factoid about England partiers... they will dance as if there is an invisible forcefield around them and barely invade the space of anyone, but they will also strip naked for hundreds of people. There's no in between. You're either traveling at five miles per hour in a trolly beneath a laced parasol, or you're speeding down the wrong side of the road in a van full of porn stars. Would you like some hot sauce with your tequila?
I kid, I'm sure not all of London is like that, just on porn idol night. After the crowd chose their favorite pair of twigs and berries, they cleared the stage and the dancing commenced. Beyonce played and I practically forgot that we just saw a strip tease. The six of us danced a yankee booties off until Glee's version of "Don't Stop Believin" by Journey came on. If you want to find an American in Europe, play Journey. All of the Americans in the bar somehow gravitated to us in the middle of the floor and joined us in a very screamy rendition of the classic gone Gleek. The British looked on with horror. However, I think they secretly liked our freak-dancing. Get it.
Finally at 3 in the morning we got home and woke up four hours later for lecture. Then we got books I SPENT 12 POUNDS WHICH IS LIKE... IDK HOW MANY AMERICAN DOLLARS BUT WOOOAAAAAHHHHH CHEAP! And then we got lunch at this nice little cafe and I had a toasted focaccia sandwich with goat cheese, ham, and bruschetta, DUHlicious.
Then for dinner we made pasta with the floor family and I burnt my finger before setting the fire alarm off with burnt brownies. Cool.
We're going out for a drink tonight and then the homework starts tomorrow! Gah! Hyde park is going to be a great study lounge ;)
Love you all! Take care, I miss you so much.
Sams
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