PARIS

Hey everyone!

I'm sorry I haven't been posting lately - my computer screen died and I couldn't. Also I just didn't want to. Anyway, in recent history of my time in Europe, I went to Paris; thaaaaaa city of lightses... and cigarette butts; there are probably more cigarette butts on the ground than blades of grass. However if you look up away from the ashy sidewalks, you will likely lose your breath.

Aside from the nasty ass ground, Paris is beautiful; the architecture is finely detailed, ancient and full of character. It has a sort of fake-ness to it; as though it's a movie set. Even the food looks like a stage prop.

The Eiffel Tower is stunning - for me it was literally stunning. Looking up at all that iron left my mouth agape and my heart beating as though I just downed a can of redbull spiked with PCP. I couldn't believe I was actually seeing it. To keep with Parisian life style (or so I have gathered from television), Trish and I popped a seat in front of the majestic, pahllic tower and downed a bottle of wine in less than 30 minutes... then we passed out beneath it. If self-induced comas were ever a joyful experience, this was it.

After we awoke from a minor brown-out, we got on the move for food with our friends Kelsey and Abdullah. We found a strange little place in which we got more wine and great meat. We each had a different innocent animal - lamb, beef, chicken, and duck. It was rull good. I will criticize it for the amount of butter - there may have been more butter than actual food on our plates. But seeing as how our first few hours in Paris involved passing out drunk in front of the Eiffel Tower, we figured we might as well go all the way and not do anything remotely healthy at all.

So OBviously we set out for more booze after dinner! And ice-cream! We met up with a couple of friends on a spot overlooking the entire city. Paris. Is. Big. It was like looking out into an ocean - no end of the lights until the horizon. Shortly below us young Parisians got sloshed and danced to the Mortal Kombat Theme Song. There was also broken glass everywhere and people strewn all up and down the steps leading to what looked like a really important building for politics or stem-cell research or something. This place was like a free-for-all.

After we grew tired of seeing the same idiot walking on his hands while his fellow street-performers tried jeering the crowd to respond as though it was the first time they'd ever seen a person upside-down, we went to an outside cafe to enjoy the buzzing atmosphere of Montmartre. Here, my friends ordered ice cream and pie and I got a highly alcoholic drink with a glow-stick in it. What a way to end an awesome day.

The next day exists as somewhat of a blur in my memory. It was very hot and Trish and I were ultimately just waiting to get on the train home. The city is beautiful, but the people are no match for the friendly Irish. Ireland looked kind of like a dump in some spots but I remember wanting to stay. Paris did not have the same effect; I was informed by a colleague that Paris is known to be one of the most xenophobic locations in the world. Not everyone was rude, but if I mis-pronounced one syllable in brief attempts to speak the language, I wouldn't even get a response. It may have been the nervous farting but I've mastered the art of evasive flatulence so I seriously doubt that's what put them off.

Not everyone was rude; I actually met a very nice woman who sold me mustard with a smile despite the fact she had been awake since 4 am preparing for the market. Regardless, I think I've been persuaded to learn Spanish. It's wiser to do that in America anyway but this was the final little nudge. Funny enough, the nicest people we met in Paris were American. The buildings of a city may be beautiful but at its heart is its culture. The 48 hours we spent in Paris were gorgeous, but they were also a little cold; Personally, I feel as though I connected with the land more than the people.

That's all for now folks, till next time!

Sam